It seems like a lifetime ago.
https://web.archive.org/web/20090816212342/http://wrestlingupdateonline.com/blog/2009/08/11/happy-371st-birthday-old-man-the-roast-of-sheldon-goldberg/
Happy 371st Birthday, Old Man! The Roast of Sheldon Goldberg
August 11, 2009
Many years ago, on this day, in a territory far, far away, Mom & Pop Goldberg welcomed a “human encyclopedia” into the world. I don’t suspect they knew it at the time, but I am positive they had high hopes for their 20 pound, 15 ½ oz. newborn boy (the head weighed 12 pounds, 10 pound and 3 ounces without the mustache). A doctor… A lawyer…whatever he was to become, I’m sure they just wanted him to be successful and happy at his choice…. that is until he decided on the performing arts. (Nine out of ten parents hate that.)
Somewhere along the road, the theater took the young man’s soul, and a desire to fail was born. The path to success to theater is bumpy, to say the least, yet their child was steadfast and was willing to take the journey so many fought for along the way with a penchant of wearing pink feathers in his Red Sox caps. By the courage of his convictions, he wrote a couple of plays that he produced to the stages. Unfortunately, they died faster than the actors could burn the scripts. Mr. Goldberg in leotards was a sight, though, many clamored to never see again. Did I mention he was a director/writer?
Along the way from his childhood, though, and after many attempts to join the Village People, professional wrestling was, at least, in the back of his mind. Professional Wrestling, you see, is the modern day “theater-in-the round”, meaning there is no obvious “fourth wall” (look it up on Wikipedia if you need more help the terminology).
Sheldon's Dream Job.
With wrestling through his heart, he partook in being writer and editor of “Mat Marketplace” (now, if I were to even act like I know what the hell that is, I would look like a bigger mark than I already may be. So to defend myself, I will say I don’t know). With this vehicle for his written word, the periodical, “World of Wrestling (WOW) (don’t blame me, I didn’t come up with the name) took notice and signed him up to write in its inaugural issue, and main feature, on, you guessed it, Bill Goldberg (no relation), the cool, snot-snorting former football player. This piece, although he never spoke to “the man who spit pyrotechnics” (it was the picture on the cover), stopped the space/time continuum in its tracks (not really). It also caught the attention of a couple of promoters (I doubt that too), Tony Rumble and Paul “The Check is in the Mail” Heyman.
Bill Goldberg after his pre-match meal of fireworks.
After the death of Mr. Rumble, Mr. Goldberg decided that his miring of obscurity and the lack of wrestling in the area was a combination to good to pass up. He decided to create and promote an obscure professional wrestling promotion, New England Championship Wrestling (NECW).
Have you seen this man? Public Enemy #1
Police composite of Sheldon Goldberg.
As promoter, part-owner, and on-screen commissioner, Mr. Goldberg has worked his way around the Greater Boston area, selling his soul (no literal confirmation on this to date) to promote NECW, creating a place where wrestlers can turn to when there is nowhere else to go. Along this journey, he has used many media ventures to show how low some wrestlers sink to get work. One of these is NECW.tv website; a weekly show sent out over the internet, that, as far as I know, only women from Kansas watch while wearing ruby red slippers.
Must wear while viewing NECW.
Nine years after in inception of wrestling’s epic failure, Mr. Goldberg has decided to add a new target for his “downward spiral of obscurity” on a national platform. On August 8th, 2009, NECW (Mr. Goldberg is in the middle, and, trust me, it’s a good thing they didn’t show him from the waist down) announced that they will be shown on Comcast Sports Networks nationally, starting in early January (apparently the suicide rates around Christmas was too much for the company to compete with). Now we will all see his failures, making his momma proud!
Success can be measured in many ways, and Mr. Goldberg is an example of what we should consider to be. Honestly, Sheldon Goldberg is a nice man (hell, he will even tell you that… ha!), and a very good friend, not only to myself, but to many in the Pro Wrestling community. One of a rare breed in a corner of the world considered lacking in moral fiber; he is a statue of what we should try to be. As I know I was roasting him, I consider this just as not meant to be as “factual”, and this is not truly meant to have ill intensions on anyone… even so much as I flubbed the timeline purposely, and is to be taken in jest; a “rib” on a man who I am honored to know, but truly blessed to have him as a friend, confidante, and mentor. Even though, I am positive that you, Sheldon, will not celebrate your day of birth, your mother should truly feel blessed that she has put on this earth a great, friendly person on this earth, and I hope that your future is full of many more great years.
Here are some links to know more about Sheldon Goldberg:
- NECW Wrestling
- Mouthpiece Wrestling Show
- NECW TV
- 1510 The Zone
- New_England_Championship_Wrestling on wikipedia
- Sheldon Goldberg Blogspot
- World Womens Wrestling
Sheldon Goldberg
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Casey O.
aka Casey Carnage
Carnage Crew
Wrestlers Rescue
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